So much for the life long dream of attending Oprah's favorite things show... Oprah hosted her last one today!

After a long hiatus filled with all that life brings us, a little laughter, a little disappointment and a bit of soul searching, I'm back! I look forward to bringing you great topics.

First topic, how to become a socialite. I was once quoted saying that my dream jobs is to "do me and dress cute" (yes, I know that sounds ridiculous). In my quest to one day actually do this I thought, what profession (term used loosely) would apply better than being a socialite? Well since being popular isn't something I was in high school or college apparently this concept of being ULTRA social does not come natural to me. I did a little research and found tips to becoming a black socialite. Now let me clarify, I am not interested in being a NeNe Leaks but more like a Pamela Joyner. I ran across The Black Socialite's tips for doing just that.

First,

you must be is charming, loyal, and graceful. While this sounds easy, it isn't... Most questers don't have a clue about these principals. So, they get shut down at every turn because they are grasping and climbing without consideration for others. They tend to be users and see people as a means of getting their goals achieved. They often have to buy their way into the social set rather than being asked to table based on their own merits. - - CHECK!

Next,

Be prepared to kick out some money to appear at various events and activities. However, this is manageable if you factor these costs into your overall budget. -- umm OK...wait, there's money involved??

When you get invited to events, show up. And, you may have to get comfortable going out by alone... Many socialites attend events alone because men tend to not care about social activities as much as we do. So, if you are one of these women who have to clutch onto the arm of a man whenever you go out, true socialite status may not be for you. -- Never went to a party by my lonesome, this is getting interesting.

Lastly,

always dress to the nines! -- if this means designer labels, I'm screwed!

Well, not too sure about becoming a full blown socialite but it definitely won't hurt to increase my social network. New Goal: get involved!

Eva Marcille's $3,000 studded Gasoline Glamour platforms. Oh MY!

Love it or Leave it?

And my obsession with clogs (wooden heels in general) continues...




Check out my latest purchase for Via Spiga!

LOVES IT!

Summer's main attraction is here! Who has plans for the Fourth of July? I think it will rain all weekend here but it'll be bright and sunny somewhere. So who's barbecuing, who's boiling seafood and who's frying up some fish?



Try these waist friendly desserts to top off all of that cookout goodness that you probably won't be able to resist. Volunteer to bring this to the party that way you KNOW you'll have a healthy option. ENJOY!

By Maiya Norton for Essence.com

Posts are slow this week I'm just going through another one of my "what do I want to do with my life' spells. Sunday night I actually quit my job, well at least in my head for like a split second. Then the thought of my bills and quality of life that I would like to maintain, if not increase, snapped me back to reality.

Why is it so difficult to find what I'm passionate about? The love of my parents, sisters and life experiences has given me a great deal of self confidence to where I truly believe I can do anything. Yet strangely that is whats hold me up, the fact that I know I have so many choices. One minute I'm contemplating my own restaurant the next minute I'm designing home goods.

Recently I made it a goal to get involved in a non-profit as a volunteer, try my hand at fundraising. Never liked fundraising, sucked at selling raffle tickets, too busy sneaking the World Finest chocolate covered almonds to make a good profit, and why would i try to sell someone $10 cookie dough? Well lately in an effort to find my passion I'm all about trying something new. What non-profit? who knows.... any suggestions?

Viva Laverne would like to wish all the fathers out there a happy father's day. Keep doing a great job at raising your children. A Father's love is so precious and like no other.

Would you love it so much it's a definite buy or would you leave it right there on the shelf for the next sucker?

50 great uses for petroleum jelly in under 2 minutes courtesy of Bellasugar.com.

More great tips on Re-Inventing your life from Melissa Dawn Johnson via Essence.com.

Designer Maya Lake is the creator of the stylishly bold clothing line, Boxing Kitten. Conceived while an African American studies major at Wesleyan University. By combining bold tribal prints with classic silhouettes the results are the perfect merger of heritage, awareness and modern style. Love it!

Look for her designs on top Fashionista like Beyonce and Alisha Keys and even Fergie.

I decided to try flexi-rods on my natural hair this weekend and here's the process and products used by my stylist:

Step 1. washed with Miss Jessie's Creme De La Curl and Creme De La Curl.

Step 2. deep conditioned with Miss Jessie's Recovery Treatment as I sat under a steam dryer.

Step 3. Detangle and curl hair using blue flexi-rods in spiral pattern . The stylist used a little foam setting lotion to help hold the curl and papers for smooth ends.

Step 4. Set under dryer for 1 hour until hair was dry. Curls were a little soft so she lightly spritz them.

Step 5. Separate curls by dividing each curl into 3 to 4 sections. This gives your look volume and allows you to hide any parts created by the rollers. The stylist placed a small about of Miss Jessie's Buttercreme on her fingertips as she was doing this to add moisture.

This is supposed to last 1 week, 2 if I am careful when I sleep. Throughout the week I will sleep with a bonnet cap or satin pillow case. You can finger curl any curls the are getting frizzy by using a light moisturizer. Just be sure your are going in the direction of the curl.

Here's the end result two days later.

I like the outcome, and this is definately a style I will rock in the winter when I can't wash 'n go as much. I also think this style will be cuter as my hair gets longer. I'm loving my natrual hair color in this picture.

As for the products used... I'm not sure what it was, maybe the shampoo, but my scalp is hella dry and flaky.

I must share with you one of my favorite little 'pick me up' sites I love to visit when I'm in need of inspiration. It's Brand Me by Melissa Dawn Johnson. (http://www.brandmelive.com/)

Melissa Dawn Johnson on what is Brand Me?

What started as a dare to live the life I dreamed became a book called Brand Me. Make Your Mark: Turn Passion into Profit (Ambassador Press).

Brand Me is more than what we do, it is who we are. The book became a blueprint to help anyone become a brand master. The Brand Me movement provides education and empowerment for those who are serious about personal and professional success lifestyle.

Now you and I are a part of a global movement of unstoppable leaders united by one common purpose…to LIVE the life you dream.

In an era of financial uncertainty and change, we are redefining entrepreneurship. Brand Me represents the mind-set of this moment that says in order for me to thrive, I must FIRST be CEO of Brand Me.

Brand Me Live.com is your daily destination for personal and professional transformation. We offer relevant and right-in-time resources for those who are serious about personal and professional success.

Brand Me Live.com is for:
Entrepreneur – Owner of your own enterprise
Intrapreneur – Owner of your own career within a company
Scholarpreneur – Owner of your own dream as you launch into work
Homepreneur – Owner of a home-based business
Anyone in between

No matter where you are today, I dare you to LIVE the life you DREAM.

Looking forward to the journey with you!

Be Brandtastic



Look for more of Melissa's branding tips in the future. We all need to think of how to take ourselves and our ideas to the next level and I believe Melissa has great advice on how to do that.

I’ve had this list of seventeen reasons why it’s OK to quit on the wall of my office for quite some time. I love it because it’s real talk. Enjoy -

By Motivational Speaker - Veraunda Jackson

1. Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness! Respect their position and keep it moving!

2. Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them! And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

3. Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you. Either they believe in you and value you...or they don't!

4. Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!

5. Quit gossiping about other people! Minding our own business should be a full time job!

6. Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter three weeks from now! Talk solutions...and then implement them!

7. Quit eating things you know are not good for you! If you can't quit...eat smaller portions!

8. Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them! If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores! Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!

9. Quit staying in unhealthy relationships! It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself! It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

10. Quit letting family members rope you into the drama! -Start telling them you don't want to hear it! Quit spreading the drama! Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

11. Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN'T WORK! Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

12. Quit the job you hate! Start pursuing your passion. Find the job that fuels your passion BEFORE you quit!

13. Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore! Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

14. Quit listening to the naysayers! Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!

15. Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!

16. Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself! If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!

17. Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!- Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT ...... and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

What can I say, I LOVE PURPLE and I LOVE THIS DRESS!

OK this is getting ridiculous. I've listened to this song about five times today while sitting at my desk. Every time it comes on I just can't keep still!

Monday Morning --Melonie Fiona

I’ve noticed a lot of women are struggling with keeping hair breakage at bay. I cannot stress enough the importance of pumping your hair full of moisture. When hair is moisturized it has a great elasticity and has a greater ability to stretch. Ever wonder what that popping sound is when you are combing your hair? It’s your hair snapping or breaking and it’s not withstanding the strokes of the comb.

Women with ethnic hair, meaning hair that is wavy to kinky in texture and naturally dry, can generally combat breakage if they are able to grasp the moisture/protein balance. I recently ran across a great article that really breaks down when and why you need a moisturizing conditioner and when your hair needs protein (often called re-constructors). The author includes great scenarios to help illustrate what you should look for when assessing your hair. If you've ever had a question about conditioning hair I highly recommend you click on the link below.

Learn more about hair conditioning regimens.

Sheena Foster is a 28 year old native of New Orleans, LA and currently resides in Newark, NJ.

I apologize for the ultra slow post between Sex in the City festivities and my family coming to visit, I've been on cloud nine. In honor of our favorite girls from New York a few ladies and I came together to watch the first movie then flowed up with a spa day, lunch, happy hour drinks and, of course, Sex in the City 2. However my parents came in town before I made it to the movies with them. So I've yet to see it...

As I'm decompressing from all the weekend's joy I would like to extend a special thank you to all the men and women that have put their lives on the line for our country. While I can't say much about this eight year war, I can say thank you for your efforts. May God bless you and your families. For those that have loved ones that didn't make it back from war alive, America is undoubtedly thankful that they sacrificed their life for us.

May God bless them too.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

I'm obsessed with wooden soles so wedges and clogs are some of my favorite shoes to buy. I've got my eye on the chocolate brown DVF platform wedges below.

Thandie Newton is showing some real personality with this outfit. I love how she choose the often forgoten about color yellow and pair it with a style of shoe that typically isn't seen on the 'red carpet'. Loves it.

For all you want-to-be sushi lovers the best way to stomach sushi without having to deal with all the extra forgein-ess: Get it with cooked fish (given) and request soy paper. I have found that seaweed paper to be chewy at times and difficult to bite in to. The soy paper has no flavor and tends to disappear into the mix of flavors.

I’m finding that there are quite a few ladies that are forgoing chemical strengtheners and embracing their natural hair. Reasons range from a quest for healthier hair to saving money. I chose to leave the relaxers alone because I was developing an extreme case of dry and itchy scalp that was more painful than uncomfortable. I started out taking a break and wound up embracing a new lifestyle. Learning to care for your natural hair can be quite frustrating but view it as a journey to a new you. There will be times you will feel like running back to the creamy crack but chalk it up because the end result is unbelievably freeing and rewarding. I did my Big Chop (cut off relaxed ends) after a year of transitioning. Here are a few things I learned along the way.

Transitioners: you are growing your relaxer out. Your hair has a distinct line where the natural hair meets the relaxed hair, the line of demarcation. This line is extremely fragile and should be treated as such.

Recommended care routine: get in the habit of adding moisture to your hair, when you do the big chop this will be essential. Skip the shampoo and wash your hair with conditioner about once a week, deep condition often and use a sulfate free shampoo once every two weeks.

Recommended styles: Any style that minimized combing is best since combing stresses the line of demarcation. Flexi-rod set, braids, twist, bun, and even a wash ‘n go if you have a medium curl pattern. After your new growth gets more than and inch or two long I wouldn’t recommend flat ironing in an effort to blend hair, you’ll find yourself doing it too often.

Products I relied on during my transition. These are not the same products I am currently using.

Brushes & Combs by Sally Beauty
Blow Dryers & Irons by Ion

I wonder if in about 4 years or 5 years if my hair will look like this? Leela James is a girl with SERIOUS curls.

A couple of nights ago I washed and deep conditioned my hair then decided that I wanted to wear it straight. Avoiding using too much heat I blow dried (skipped the Fhi iron) my hair until smooth using the one with a comb attachment then did a basic set using the purple flexie rods. After tossing a turning all night due to how tight I did my rollers I was pleased to see the smooth, bouncy curls I unraveled in the morning. It was so big and full, felt like I was channeling Dianne Carol as I left for work. And then it hit me, It's humid as HELL out here and it's about to rain!

The #1 rule to straightening natural hair is: pay attention to the weather!! No matter how much product you use, mother nature will win. This is what happens when you don't take in o account your three block walk from the car to your job:





Hot....





MESS!

Yes, this is how I looked when I got home from work. No, I did not exaggerate my hair for this picture. No, I had a big meeting that day so I could not stay in my cube all day and Yes, I know it wouldn't look so bad with just a headband instead of two bobby pins and a clip from the bottom of my purse.

Lesson Learned! oh and excuse the bathroom, I'm getting rid of the wallpaper this weekend, yuck.

Cory Dade for the Wall Street Journal did a story about the take over of Dominican salons. The Dominican blow out has been the talk for some time now as an alternative to getting hair super straight without relying on chemicals. Many people I know swear by them and believe that it is healthier because you can sport freshly straightened roots and hair week to week and not worry about over processing your hair. In my opinion too much of anything on your hair is bad whether it is relaxer or heat. Dade writes:

Delshawn Rollins once trusted only fellow African-Americans with the delicate task of styling and straightening her tightly curled brown hair.

But that meant enduring hours of salon gossip, ordered-in lunch (and sometimes dinner, too) and occasional mishaps, like the time the ends of her hair snapped off after she had it dyed.

Fed up, the 35-year-old respiratory therapist last fall pulled out a flier she had for a new salon that promised to "work magic" using "Dominican styling." She was in and out of The Hair Co. USA, which displays the Dominican flag in the front window, within two hours, sporting a straight, feathery "do" for $20 less than she had been paying her old stylist.

I can absolutely relate to Ms. Rollins. I hated sitting in a salon for hours only to be about a pound lighter in the wallet when I left. When relaxed, I pretty much stuck with a basic roller wrap because I was never a big proponent of using direct heat on my hair. Which is one of the reasons I've never tried the Dominican Blow out. Cory Dade's assessment delves little further in not only the blow out's effects on your hair but the effects on the beauty industry as a whole.

For all of you who love the W hotel and it's funky cool vibe, they have dove head first into the bedding, homedecor and even fashion industy. The hotel brand has an online shop that features a variety of popular products that scream 'W hotel'.

Click below to view thier entire line.

A few of the lucite pieces they carry which I would love to incoporate a (and only one)piece into my home's decor. I think it will go with my ecletic chic decor without being to modern and harsh. Unless you are going for the ultra modern hard line look, a little goes a long way, besides this stuff is NOT cheap. Each of these products range from $300 to about $410.

The L.A.M.B Dawna platform slingback features a zebra print and zipper trim. It retails for about $325. So do we love it or hate it?

This page was inspired by the post I did on O magazine's 10th anniversary. We are looking for people that have found their passions and have dedicated their lives to pursuing them. People that are fearlessly following their dreams and impacting lives in the process. Viva Laverne believes these people deserve to be highlighted as a way to encourage us all to do the same. Do you know someone that deserves the spotlight?

Nominate them by sending an email to vivalaverne@yahoo.com. Please include a brief summary of where their passions lie, what prompted them to follow their dreams, and anything else they would like to share including a picture or logo.